81. Am I Too Grown for This?

In this fun episode, Sonia and Roberta ask the question: Am I too grown for this?  They talk about the trends, habits, and guilty pleasures they’ve outgrown — and the ones they’re proudly holding onto. From fashion and concerts to dating and slang, they break down what’s still a vibe and what’s getting left behind.

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Chapters

• 0:00 Saying In: TV and Streaming
• 5:47 Fashion: What's in, What's Out
• 24:22 Too Grown for the Club
• 33:41 Out with Your Girls
• 53:05 Music
• 57:08 Social Media and Slang
• 1:01:44 Who Gets to Date?

Transcript

Sonia (00:15)
What's up y'all. Welcome back to another episode of the growing and podcast. I'm Sonia. What's up Roberta? How you doing?

Roberta (00:20)
And I am Roberta. Hey, I'm good. How are you doing?

Sonia (00:26)
I'm doing excellent. What are we drinking today? What's on the menu? Hopefully it matches this beautiful weather we're having. So what is it?

Roberta (00:30)
Yes, it does.

It does. It's a beautiful day in DC. This is a Pinot Grigio. And this is made by Acadian Wine Company. This is my special friend who's a winemaker. He made this. Yeah, it's just Pinot Grigio. It's really good. It's like a little bit fuller your typical Pinot Grigio. I'm drinking my man's wine.

Sonia (00:37)
Okay.

Not you drinking your man's wine on here. Can we

find your man's wine on the site?

Roberta (00:58)
I mean, well, not yet. We're going to add it to the site. However, if you are in the Pennsylvania area or want to just go up to Pennsylvania, he is in West Grove. He has a whole vineyard and tasting room and it's beautiful and gorgeous and he has a lot of wine. So I would suggest that. is Acadian. Yes. Yes, yes.

Sonia (01:13)
And he is who? What's the name of his business? Acadian, okay. Nice, and what kind

of Pinot Grigio can we get on Vin Boheme?

Roberta (01:23)
We have a couple of different Pinot Grigios on this site. Actually we have like two. One is woman produced out of Italy. And I forget the other one. But yes, we do have some options and if Pinot Grigio is not your thing, we have other white wine options on Vin Boheme. But yes, this is what I'm enjoying this evening. Quite lovely.

Sonia (01:40)
All right,

very good. And I'm enjoying lemon water. It's very delicious tart. Just in time for summer. Crisp. Exactly, yes. So what are we talking about today?

Roberta (01:46)
Crisp, very citrusy.

today, today. Well, I wanted to keep it like light and fun and airy. And we were talking about the other day about stuff that people are doing out in the world. And it was like, yeah, I'm over that. I'm too old for that. I'm too grown for that. And we started listing out stuff and I was like, you know what? We should really talk about this and capture it because if we're talking about it, other people probably talking about it or curious in thinking, am I too grown for this?

Sonia (02:12)
Exactly.

Yeah.

Are you in your auntie era or not? Like, I feel like we'll know by the end. Wait, do you, do you let people or has anybody ever called you auntie?

Roberta (02:17)
Are you in your auntie era? I... We'll know. We'll know. Somebody will tell us.

No.

Sonia (02:29)
Do you see yourself as an auntie? Would you be offended if somebody did?

Roberta (02:33)
That's a question. don't see myself as auntie, but I also wouldn't be offended, because technically I'm in that era. would I be offended if somebody called me a cougar?

Sonia (02:44)
I'd be offended if somebody called me a cougar.

Well, ooh.

Roberta (02:49)
I'll take

it as a compliment. like, hey. But also I don't think, you know what? think we, I say we, women in our 40s or whatever, have shifted it, shifted the culture enough that cougar is not even a thing. it's so ubiquitous. Like we out here just doing whatever, dating, whatever, that it's not even a thing to see or not dating whatever.

Sonia (02:51)
my god.

Yeah.

Not dating whatever. Not dating whatever.

Roberta (03:09)
Thank you for that

correction. Dating younger men. That is not seen as a predatory thing as it might have once been seen.

Sonia (03:13)
Yes.

Right, unless you're like,

you know, unless the age gap is you doing a, what's the best of all wife, girl? She's in her 40s, she dating a 23 year old.

Roberta (03:27)
I wish what I

yeah, okay, so here's my line. If the person you are dating is young enough to be your offspring, that's a little problematic, I think. That's for men or women. I don't care, it's just not gender specific. This is anybody. If this person could feasibly call you daddy or mommy, that's too much.

Sonia (03:32)
Where's your line?

Yeah, that is, that is.

I call you daddy and mean it.

Roberta (03:50)
I mean it

that's too much that's entirely too much. I remember Drea, Drea, Drea, See ya.

Sonia (03:53)
What is her name? Anyway, basketball wife, but also you have Shannon Sharp, Dreah. Yeah, that's it. Shannon Sharp's

dating a 19 year old. That's just nasty. I'm sorry.

Roberta (04:03)
So I

heard about that, but heard about it from outside. I don't know what exactly that's about. I really don't wanna know.

Sonia (04:11)
I've just heard about the age difference. I don't really know about it either. But to me, getting back to it, Auntie is not an insult. I would, I would love to be somebody to call me Auntie, as long as they're younger than me. Now, if you my age, don't be calling me Auntie. Don't do that. Cause you, you an Auntie too. You Auntie.

Roberta (04:16)
Yes.

Interesting. But see, okay,

then that implies that they're using it as an insult.

Sonia (04:30)
It implies that they think they're younger than me. I don't know. guess it depends on who's saying it. I don't go around calling my friends Auntie, but if a younger person, and I mean way younger, calls me Auntie, then I'm cool with it. But we can't be close. We can't be close in age.

Roberta (04:33)
Interesting. Okay.

Yeah. No, it just, yeah.

think it's also like if you

are a mother and you are a literal aunt then I think it's a little bit more palatable like I'm neither and so for somebody to call me auntie I'm just like who what this doesn't make sense to me but you know anyway that I can be very literal sometimes alright so in in a topic discussion

Sonia (05:00)
That's very literal. Yeah.

All right, so.

Mm-hmm.

Roberta (05:09)
I thought it'd be kind of fun to talk about things that are going on now whether that be fashion or just social interactions dating and bring up some stuff and discuss whether or not we believe we're too grown for these things. All right so let's yeah let's talk about fashion and in trends and to be honest with you I don't really keep up with trends I never really have ⁓

Sonia (05:22)
All right, let's do it. Let's start with fashion.

Yeah.

Roberta (05:31)
However, there are some things that I just find curious and kind of comical. I think for fashion, the 90s are coming back and the fact that the 90s are retro does hurt my feelings a little bit.

Sonia (05:39)
Yeah.

It does, it does. I was like, really? I actually

don't mind the 90s so much. if you're talking early 90s, 90 to 95, once you get to 96, I'm like, you know, but somebody just recently told me that a friend of theirs was having a party to celebrate the 2000s. I'm like, why? How do you even, what do you mean? What do you mean? That was yesterday.

Roberta (05:50)
Yes. Yes.

Right, right. It's like, why

are we celebrating a time that's still here? Because it feels like yesterday.

Sonia (06:09)
Thank

you, but I have seen 90s stuff. I love watching people get their hair cut on Instagram, that's my thing. And I'm noticing a of Halle Berry cuts, a lot of T-Boz cuts coming back. I even saw some finger waves, which I'm like, okay, we going there? Are they crispy? Are finger waves still?

Roberta (06:13)
no.

you

Yeah.

Right, remember those

clips, those metal clips? If those come back, so help me God.

Sonia (06:33)
I've seen French Rolls too. I can't. My little millennial friend at work, was trying to convince me that they're pretty. They're pretty, I would like to see them.

Roberta (06:35)
Absolutely not. Nope, we're not doing that.

No, no, no, no.

So here's the thing, French roll, I'm not grown enough for a French roll.

Sonia (06:50)
I don't ever want a French roll, never. I'm still traumatized. Like bring back the cute stuff, the ponytails. Remember ponytails? Did you ever do ponytails?

Roberta (06:51)
No. Nope, nope, No.

What mean like a ponytail? a ponytail? a... My hair could never do... you mean the weave? The long... Where you could just... Yeah, no, I never did it. What? No...

Sonia (07:01)
No! Yes, the weed ponytails, you put the, ⁓ you curl it and put it in the microwave. Did you, I know you ain't do that. Roberta,

I know you ain't never do that. I shouldn't asked. You take the fake hair, you use your Lottabody you roll it, roll the hair up, put it in the microwave.

Roberta (07:13)
country like what you put what in the microwave why

Mm-hmm. See, that's where

you lost me. Like, why are we putting it in a microwave? Girl.

Sonia (07:25)
Cause it'll dry faster, I don't know. It'll

curl. The microwaves will get them curls in. You take it out, you fluff the curls, and then you wrap it around.

Roberta (07:31)
This is why we're full of nanoplastics.

Sonia (07:34)
Bring back that, that's cute. Look, pony tails are cute, I can get with those. But okay, so now we're seeing out of hair, like baggy, relaxed.

Roberta (07:35)
What? my gosh. Okay.

Yes. For

clothes, yeah, we're seeing baggy jeans and like, yes, the barrel jeans.

Sonia (07:47)
wide leg jeans, velour sweatsuits. So I haven't

seen any. It's kind of hot now. I hope.

Roberta (07:53)
The lower sweatsuits,

I feel like that's more early 2000s. Maybe I'm splitting hairs, but like, yeah.

Sonia (07:58)
Maybe, but

as long as they don't, I'm cool with velour sweatsuits as long as they don't have like juicy on the booty no more. Like no writing on the butt. Yeah, so and board shorts, capris, capris are back.

Roberta (08:05)
Right. Or pink. I always hated that. Capris are

so coming back. just saw on line for the capris, like the both the tight ones, like the member, the parasuco ones, and like all those are coming back. I even seen wide leg capris, but aren't those just called culottes?

Sonia (08:17)
They are.

Parasucos.

Girl, I don't know the difference between a pedal pusher, culotte I can't, I don't really know. I don't really know. I don't know why it looks more stylish now. It doesn't quite look like 90s, it's been updated.

Roberta (08:31)
Right. Anyway, all those are coming back and apparently because Yes. So yeah,

so when I think when people, I say people, the trendy people put together looks and they're going for a retro or vintage look, they mix kind of the original, the true original with some like updated, more modern pieces. And I think that makes it look a little bit more current.

Sonia (08:55)
Yeah, cause even when you look at the shorts,

there, I mean, there've been board shorts or shorts that come down to your knee forever. They've been out forever, but it's the style, like they're a little wider. Why do I feel like I'm on like fashion Police talking about, this is so out of my lane, but this I noticed.

Roberta (09:05)
Yeah.

far as okay are we too

grown for these things I would rock capris I definitely wear the baggy jeans now the sweater vest I don't know I think I might be too grown for that

Sonia (09:19)
Not

actually sweater vest, it's actually vest. Yeah, I like the vest. I like the vest. I could get with the vest. Little jean one, little one for work.

Roberta (09:22)
No, both. I've seen both.

Okay, so what are we what are we absolutely

not doing now? that well apparently the skinny jeans were out but then they're trying to come back But honestly, I think it's Millennials that are trying to bring it back because they got so many

Sonia (09:36)
Okay.

I don't, first of all, first of all, I invested heavily in skinny jeans, okay? I did, I'm not a millennial, but I invested heavily, I'm on the cusp. Yeah, exactly. I invested heavily and I'm like, I feel like they look good. I feel like I, look, I'm still doing the skinny jeans. I'm gonna keep them because they still, they're not like parasuco-tight like, but they're just fitted.

Roberta (09:44)
See?

We're on the cusp of Xennials

All right.

Yeah, But like,

stretch but slim. I cut mine, when they kind of went out, I cut mine into shorts, into just jean shorts. Yeah, they've been out for two or three years. When the baggie came in and the barrel came in, the skinny went out.

Sonia (10:09)
It's out, but...

When they go out? They were out last year?

That was an anteat. This is why,

and I think it may be better now. There are a few reasons why I wanna keep my skinny jeans, because they fit my body. I don't have a lot of problems with it. Baggy jeans, I have a big butt.

and I have long legs and so it's hard to find wide leg jeans that just don't, look terrible. I'm gonna give it a try. heard what the, you know, thank God we got social media now because all I gotta put in tall and curvy and all the girls will tell me where to get jeans, so we'll see. I can't believe you said skinny jeans went out three years ago. It's very auntie of me.

Roberta (10:46)
Right, you'll see. Right. Right. All right.

They kind of, well when Baggy

came in, the skinny went out, but now the skinny's kind of coming back, but not so much. If you ask TikTok, everybody just wear what you want to wear. Don't nobody give a flip. But also, but there's certain things like kitten heels they came back. I just refuse. I didn't wear kitten heels then. I'm too grown for kitten heels They just look weird. Maybe it's like my shoe size. I wear, I'm a nine and a half.

Sonia (11:01)
Pretty much, pretty much. I mean, I did just buy a pair.

No, I can't. I can't.

you

Roberta (11:14)
You need some

elevation on a nine and a half foot size foot to not make it look like a couple of skis.

Sonia (11:19)
Right. And I'm a curvy

girl. I'm sorry. I feel like I'm tall. I'm thick. I just need something more substantial than a kitten heel. I don't even like kittens. I don't even like cats. No. So I'm definitely not wearing a kitten heel. stilettos though. That's out. Or do you agree or no?

Roberta (11:22)
And we're tall.

Yeah.

So we're too grown for all cats and kittens.

maybe I don't know I mean I still have stilettos I don't really wear them that often the pandemic ruined me for any stiletto like just not from like trendy but just from a comfort level I got used to for two years straight pretty much being barefoot or in some sneakers I want me to hop up on some four and a half five inch heels that's gonna take a lot

Sonia (11:43)
Mm-hmm.

Thank you!

Yes. Yes.

I agree. No,

I'm not doing it. I can't do heels. It needs to be a block heel. and that's, it's in, it's in, but not all block heels are cute. What about dad tennis shoes, sneakers? Yeah. Hokas and.

Roberta (12:08)
Mmm. That's in, so you're good. Good fortune for you.

true.

the clunky, chunky sneaker, white sneaker.

Again, I think when you get to nine and a half, it's just not cute. And I got real skinny legs, and so if I'm gonna do it, looking like a clown, no. No, so if I do a chunky dad sneaker, it would be with a wide leg pant or jean.

Sonia (12:28)
yeah, I can't see you with it.

Okay, got it.

Roberta (12:41)
So not too grown for it, it's conditional.

Sonia (12:44)
Okay, this is not fashion, but it's in the fashion family. Blush. How do you feel about blush? First of all, do you not feel like it's made of resurgence? Like blush, blush everywhere? We weren't talking about. I never wore blush.

Roberta (12:48)
Okay, what's wrong with blush?

Did it ever go away? I know like contour came up and

then maybe blush went down a little bit, but I've always, yeah, seen worn blush. Is this like a complexion thing?

Sonia (13:06)
Really? I've never, I used to think blush was for old people.

I did. And now I can't, I'm like experimenting, I'm getting like different colors, colors that scare me. Well now they're making blush more for people like me with deeper tones.

Roberta (13:23)
I think

it's more that because I felt like as the light bright, I've always kind of needed some color on my face or also just look extremely pale. I'm here for the blush.

Sonia (13:33)
So you're here for the blush.

All right, I think, what about baby hairs?

Roberta (13:38)
It's just why. I mean, I understand maybe if you have on a wig or weave or something, you need something to kind of blend it. You need a little swoop or something. It's just not, I'm not a fan.

Sonia (13:46)
I'm not, I'm so ready for the baby hairs to be out. Please! And some of y'all have teenager hairs. Those are not babies. I'm, grown hairs, the little swoopity swoopity swoop boop boop boop. I went to the mall, that's all I saw. Every cute little black girl I saw, it was like every last one of them. I said, yes, every one of them. Now we were in PG, but.

Roberta (13:54)
Y'all got full grown hairs on your face, no.

Aww.

That's so interesting.

How old

were they? it like teenagers or 20s or okay? But you haven't seen a grown person like 20s or 30s with baby hair.

Sonia (14:15)
They were teenagers. No, teens. Definitely school.

It it depends on where I'm at. I don't wanna offend nobody, but depends on where I'm I personally do not slick my hair down. First of all, it wouldn't stay. It would not stay. And I refuse to get something that's gonna just plaster to my head. All right, so keep the edges, drop the baby hairs.

Roberta (14:26)
Well,

Nah. Exactly. No, I tried, it doesn't work.

Exactly. All right. Okay. So then what are some,

what are some things that will never go out of style? So regardless of the trends of whoever on TikTok says, you can't wear this. What do you think will never go out of style?

Sonia (14:52)
Okay,

my list includes denim. I love denim on denim. Denim will just, it will never go out of style. Tight, skinny, baggy, it doesn't matter. I've never thrown out a jean jacket in my entire life. Yes, I'm like, I have like three and I've never, I'm like, why do I keep buying jean jackets?

Roberta (14:56)
Yes.

Mm-hmm.

Same, I have a jean jacket from college.

think

that's an American thing. I don't think other cultures, other countries wear denim like we do. I could be wrong.

Sonia (15:19)
Isn't it like an American

thing? Was it? I don't know. Yeah.

Roberta (15:22)
I mean Levi's and the whole, that whole

thing, like, think we just even through all the trends and all that, it included a denim component, whether that was jeans or some kind of jacket or shirt or vest or something. it's always, I got two. like denim, don't think will ever go out of style. I think also.

Sonia (15:32)
Mm-hmm. I jean shirt.

Me too.

Roberta (15:41)
Sneakers of some sort whether you go retro whether you do you know the new releases sneakers in some fashion will always be on trend be in style

Sonia (15:42)
mm-hmm yeah

Mm-hmm. I

had hoop earrings. Hoop earrings to me. I was about to point mine out, but you can't really see them, but yes. Hoops, like you could never go wrong. Big, small, medium. You just need a pair. What's your last one?

Roberta (15:54)
think I could, hello? Like I think I could hoop. ⁓

think, oops, yeah, that's timeless.

I think trench coats.

Sonia (16:12)
Now, I've never been a trench coat girly. Explain it to me.

Roberta (16:17)
think they're very timeless and classic and I think going through, looking at all the trends over the last, I don't know, would say 20 to 30 years, there's always been some level, some version of trench coat, whether that be belted, whether that be double-breasted, whether it be, most of them are traditional of the khaki color or maybe a white or light color. I've seen them.

Sonia (16:31)
Mm-hmm.

Right.

Roberta (16:39)
last year going outside of just seasonal for spring ish I've seen wool trenches I've seen leather trenches I just I don't know I think they're very timeless and they it's not subject to like uber trends

Sonia (16:44)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

I feel like somebody needs to reinvent the coat. I was looking for a coat this winter and all I saw, pea coats in different sizes and lengths and I'm like, can we, I need somebody to do something different.

Roberta (17:06)
I have a coat, like a P coat, a long P coat. I have a trench coat. I have a, what do you wanna call it? A puffer coat. I have all the different versions of coat.

Sonia (17:10)
Say, I don't have I have a puffer, the two of them.

Yes, I think we have maxed out on the different styles of coats. don't think, some might do something little different, I ain't never seen before.

Roberta (17:20)
Wait, you want a new one?

Sure. I'm sure I'll buy it.

Sonia (17:29)
So who do

you trust to influence your fashion?

Roberta (17:32)
⁓

So I have, I will say, so speaking on am I too grown for this and keeping up with trends, I have felt, well first of all, I just kind of trust my own creative eye and what looks good on me, knowing my body type. But recently, I would say in the last two or three months, I've been more critical of what is my style?

Sonia (17:53)
Mm-hmm.

Roberta (17:54)
I

feel like lately there's different influencers, stylists that because we have social media and because we have Instagram and TikTok and all the things you can see different people's more than before and so I find myself defaulting and looking at other people's stylings of things versus coming up with my own creativity which I don't necessarily like but...

Sonia (18:00)
Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Roberta (18:15)
to some extent I can't help. So I don't know, to answer your question, I don't have one or two specific people, but I do have a couple of accounts that I follow that I think are similar to my aesthetic that I look to more so for what are those classic pieces and then how do I style them? Meaning how do I accessorize, what kind of shoes, what kind of jewelry, because I don't typically do jewelry. So there are people that I look to and I save in folders on Instagram to kind of help out.

Sonia (18:20)
Yeah.

Right.

Right.

Mm-hmm Help you

Roberta (18:42)
out.

Sonia (18:42)
I mean I feel like that's helped me. I feel like fashion is not my strong suit I am not like the trendiest and doing the you know the latest and greatest I need people to test them out. I need people with my body type I mean, that's what I appreciate about social media is that you can find your your body type and See how they're dressing it It's not an influencer, but I think my my little sister

Roberta (18:59)
Yes.

Mm.

Sonia (19:06)
dresses, so she's full figure, curvy girl. And she's so daring and cute with her fashion, with the stuff that she wears. And I'm just like, I could do that. I could do that. So she, think watching her just gives me courage to try different things and she'll do something first. We have very different body types too. So I can't wear everything that she wears, but I definitely look at her. No.

Roberta (19:17)
Yeah. ⁓

Okay. And plus she's not close to you. Y'all can't literally share clothes.

Yeah.

Sonia (19:34)
No, no, she's in Cleveland. even if we were close, she's 5'3". I'm ⁓ 5'8". So we definitely could not. But I think that she pushes me to push myself. And social media does that too. So, yeah.

Roberta (19:38)
Yeah, that's right. Yeah, yeah.

Hmm.

I like that. Also,

the one thing I will say, I'm too grown for this is that I just don't have the time to keep up with that. even the accounts that I do follow and the things and the clips and the videos I look at, I feel like that's even too much time of me of the hours I have in a day or in a week. I spent too much time doing that. Honestly, I recently looked into hiring a stylist. Yeah, it's really because if I could find someone, if I could source that.

Sonia (20:05)
Yeah.

Me? I think about it all the time.

Roberta (20:17)
to just tell me, honestly I want somebody to come over, look at my closet, go through the pieces and tell me keep that, get rid of that, send this, this go, yes. And then help me fill in the gaps of like, with like some, ⁓ my God.

Sonia (20:24)
Yep, this goes with this and also with this.

Yeah, I would love that. Because

I, the other thing that I'm getting tired of is the consumerism of it all. Like I'm so tired, I don't want to just collect, collect, trendy cheap stuff. I'm...

Roberta (20:37)
Right.

Right, right, right. I've been doing a lot more

vintage lately too.

Sonia (20:44)
Yeah, vintage, not so much vintage for me, more, spending more money on quality pieces. Like I know fast fashion is the thing now, and it is great, but what you find is that you have a lot of cheap stuff, and then it doesn't wash well, it doesn't age well, and then you're just stuck with a bunch of stuff in your closet that's either too trendy, too cheap feeling, and uncomfortable, or it's not classic, and so the next

Roberta (20:50)
Yes.

Yes.

Nope.

Great.

Sonia (21:13)
you don't wanna wear it. At least that's for me. So, yes, if you find somebody, let me know. We don't have the exact same style.

Roberta (21:14)
Right. Right. That, no, same. Right, exactly, I was about say, there's any stylists out there that wanna help

us out, because honestly, I do feel like it's a thing, and it might be just a general thing for people in this phase of life, and I wouldn't even say age, but just phase of life where you have so much going on.

Sonia (21:30)
Right.

Roberta (21:33)
And you have a you still have a desire, right, to look put together and polished and like all the things. And just as you said, you don't want to waste money on fast fashion and you want to be sustainable and all these things. You just need a little help. I'm there's like coaches for that. I don't know. If you're out there, pull up. OK.

Sonia (21:37)
Yeah.

⁓ girl, I'm sure. I'm sure there are people. Pull up! All right,

so where are we going next? Where are we going next?

Roberta (21:53)
Yes, okay, so next we're going

to the the social interactions the going out. are we too grown for? the club the clurb are we

Sonia (22:01)
Yes. Emphatically,

I'm too grown for the club. I can't do it. I haven't even... ⁓

Roberta (22:06)
Too grown for the clurb. What, okay, what is

it about it? What are you?

Sonia (22:10)
So the first thing is just having to get there. Okay, what am I gonna wear? I don't even know if I have club attire anymore. I have aged out of club attire. What do they wear to the clubs now? I have no idea. Then you get there.

Roberta (22:14)
Mmm.

Sonia (22:24)
I don't know the music, chile. I don't know the music, okay? I'm waiting for y'all to play the 90s, 2000s Biggie set. go through the bad Boy era. I don't know if they do that now. I mean, we canceled Diddy. I don't think we canceled his music. I wait for them to do that set. I wait for them to play a little go-go. I wait for them to play a little house music, and then I'm ready to go. Because the other songs I do not know. So that's that.

Roberta (22:49)
fair.

Sonia (22:52)
It's okay? It's crowded. People smoking. I just, it's, don't even know if I'm describing what happens in a club today, because I haven't been. But the last time I was there, that was happening. Not really my style. What about you? I got a feeling you would still go to a club. Go.

Roberta (22:53)
Yeah.

Yeah.

Right.

Great.

I get similar I don't know if I would define club as I would have defined it when I was like active and I say active that was maybe 2013 2010 when I was every weekend going out to somebody's club I think For a while there. I would say yeah 2013. It was the day party era at least in DC Yeah

Sonia (23:26)
Mm-hmm.

2013? That far back?

Roberta (23:39)
Yeah, my

Sonia (23:40)
For day parties?

Roberta (23:41)
DC people remember cities. Cities was a strong 2012, 2013. Yeah, and so, but I think day parties was a thing that millennials created because we were tired of hanging out late at night. And but we still wanted to party and get it in because we were you know, early thirties ish. So we invented day parties and we were like, you know, we.

Sonia (23:46)
Ooh, I was good and pregnant. I wasn't.

I like how you took credit for that, and we invented.

I know, look, I wouldn't put it past you if you actually invented it, because you are the closest thing I have to a party girl.

Roberta (24:11)
The funny thing is I was totally

in that scene because at the time I was dating a party promoter here in DC and I was at every single thing, everything that he did and it was all the time. But it was fun, I really enjoyed that. Now, now, now I don't.

Sonia (24:26)
Wait

a minute. So a day party is what? What are the hours of a day party?

Roberta (24:30)
Okay, good question.

So at the time, I don't even think day parties are a thing anymore, to be honest, but I think from 3 p.m. to 9 p.m., 9 to 10 p.m. is the day party time. all intents and purposes, I mean that's the same as a regular club night. But for all intents and it was the same exact vibe. DJ, loud DJ.

Sonia (24:36)
Okay.

Okay. ⁓

That's a long party.

That's true, I guess.

Mm-hmm.

Roberta (24:58)
You the whole bar situation, have VIP sections, you get. No, that wasn't the thing. I didn't go to those kind of part. Maybe it was on a boat.

Sonia (25:01)
Did you have to wear white? Did you have to wear white?

White parties,

white parties were the rage. I don't know when, but they were a thing.

Roberta (25:11)
Maybe I was bougie, but

I would only go to a white party if it was on a boat.

Sonia (25:14)
That's bougie. Other people didn't get that memo. They did not. You are bougie, yes.

Roberta (25:15)
Good

So I think but I didn't go to many of those Okay, so now today is okay, we're so we're back to going out at night we go out night and again, but it's more centered around the music. So what's become popular here in DC is vinyl bars and vinyl and wine bars

Sonia (25:24)
Okay, so what are you doing today? What are you doing today?

Okay?

Okay.

Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Roberta (25:44)
So that's right up my alley. I love good

music, especially on vinyl. It's sitting around in somebody's living room or basement. It's yeah, like a lounge, yes. It's... Yeah.

Sonia (25:51)
So it's like a lounge. Yeah. I can do a lounge. Like

where the music is not overwhelming, the bass is not in your chest, it's chill.

Roberta (26:03)
Yeah, no,

Okay, so the things that I'm too grown for, not gonna be in a space where the music is so loud that in order for me to hear you, you have to speak so loud that you're spitting on me. Like...

Sonia (26:21)
Or you gotta come close in my personal space. Yeah.

Roberta (26:22)
Super close, right, exactly, like that is too much.

That's it, that's I'm not doing that, I'm too grown for that. Ain't nobody spitting in my face at this big age I'm not doing that, no.

Sonia (26:27)
Okay.

Well,

look, my non-negotiables, mean loud is on there. cannot, like we can't have a conversation. I really don't want to be there. I'm also checking the parking situation. Look, I'm done. If I gotta circle the block, three four five times, if I gotta chase people down the street in my car, if I gotta back and back and ease myself into a parking a spot, I don't want to do it.

Roberta (26:56)
yeah, yeah. Well,

yeah, if I know I'm going to a lounge or a club, then I'm just going to take a Lift. Yeah, I'm just not even if I know I'm going to be drinking, I'm just going to take a Lift No, that's true. Yeah, yeah.

Sonia (27:03)
Uber, yeah, yeah.

For sure, but even if it was at somebody's house. Look, you need to tell me where to park. If I gotta park two neighborhoods over, guess who not coming?

Roberta (27:15)
No, there's been times, this was like

Sonia (27:15)
Guess who will check you later.

Roberta (27:17)
the, I don't even know what era this was, but there was a time when H Street here in Northeast was popping, but there's no parking. No parking. Right, and so there was a time, I remember, I'll never forget it, I was looking for parking for a solid 20 minutes, and this is when I lived in Alexandria, I lived on the Virginia side, and I was so frustrated that I was like, even if I find parking at this moment, I'm gonna be so mad and pissed off when I get into this place that I'm not gonna be any fun. I went all.

Sonia (27:22)
Yeah. No parking. That's what I was thinking of. Circle in the block.

Mm-hmm.

Right?

Amen I don't blame you. I don't blame you. So that parking, not super crowded. Look, I gotta be able to move, okay? If something pop off, I don't wanna be.

Roberta (27:50)
is a real thing in the city, yeah.

Mm-hmm

Sonia (27:59)
Look, I gotta have enough space to run, okay? I need to get out, I don't wanna be trampled. So not super crowded. You gotta be my age. You gotta be age appropriate. And I'm not even sure what that is. Actually, I do. I don't wanna hang this.

Roberta (28:06)
Yeah!

What is age appropriate? What is the discrepancy? You gotta have no more than what, 10 year age difference in same space?

Sonia (28:19)
I'm sorry. ⁓

can't know that you're young. It's a feeling. I can't know. If I look at you and I feel like the energy is young, I don't know what that is exactly. It's just a vibe.

Roberta (28:30)
Okay.

Do you feel like

you're in the wrong place or that they're in the wrong place?

Sonia (28:40)
If it's too many of them, I'm in the wrong place. I'm overwhelmed by the number of people, I'm outnumbered, it's me, I'm in the wrong place. ⁓ And so, ⁓ I know. I guess it's a vibe. if you twerking on the bar, do people even do that anymore? I don't know.

Roberta (28:47)
Right. By the YNs. Fair.

Yeah, I don't know, I've been.

Sonia (29:05)
But no, age appropriate, I can't really say, it's more like a vibe, right, where I feel out of place. And if I can't laugh and have fun, if I can't laugh and have fun, I can't be there. Those are my non-negotiables.

Roberta (29:07)
Yeah.

Yeah. ⁓

Yeah.

Yeah,

no, that's true. I was at a place maybe a month or two ago, I went with a friend. She really wanted to go see, there was a DJ, an Amapiano DJ that came in town from London and was playing at this spot, which I knew was kind of young-ish and more traditional, clurb. But I was like, okay, the music, I'm cool with the DJ list, check them out. It was so that...

Sonia (29:27)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

huh.

Roberta (29:40)
school like club vibe but with all young people and it was packed there were so many people you couldn't move and it also I could feel the floor moving underneath me and it just so many different things and it was just people were drunk and I was not drunk and I don't

Sonia (29:44)
⁓

Ugh. You

know what? You know you have reached auntie era when you in a space like that and all you can think about is catching COVID. I'm gonna get sick. I'm gonna get sick.

Roberta (30:02)
That part too, I thought about that, in there, I mean by the time I

was in there I was like, well, if they got it, I got it at this point. So, we all just in here. That's clubbing.

Sonia (30:09)
All right, so that's clubbing, but what about

like going out with your girls? Like what type of things do you like to do?

Roberta (30:17)
so We were talking about earlier and so one thing was just like would you are you a brunch person? Do you like to go out for brunch? No, I'm not a brunch person so over it I'm too grown for that. But here's the thing. I will go out to a nice dinner and spend over $100 Brunch there's something about brunch. I think it's just because I overdid it when it first became popular

Sonia (30:20)
Yeah.

No, I'm over it. Don't ask me to go to another hundred dollar brunch. Please.

Yeah, sure.

I don't mind brunches, I don't mind the meal of brunch. I actually like it, but I don't want to go to a brunch, a place that, yes, that, that touts themselves as being a brunch. If they have a grass wall, if they have a neon sign, if they have a buffet, count me out. If there is a DJ.

Roberta (30:49)
Okay. Okay.

Like have it be an event. Where there's a DJ. Absolutely no DJs at my, yeah, no. ⁓

If there's a DJ, I don't need all that extra music

when I'm having my waffles. Like I don't, this is unnecessary.

Sonia (31:09)
We definitely

sound like aunties, I'm sorry. But it's true, I'm sorry guys. I hate buffets and one day, oh my God. And look, the last one I went to I vowed never. And this was like a few months ago, so it was recent, but I said never again. My new boundary is.

Roberta (31:18)
I hate buffets in general.

is a branch. Yeah.

Sonia (31:30)
No buffets, no brunches. Because I paid

$100 and what did I do? Drank orange juice. and waited for the person to bring out new stuff so I could be the first in line. That was my, and $100? I was like, no. No. The view was nice though, what I'd rather do, if I'm going out with my girls now,

Roberta (31:45)
Yeah, that's a bit much.

Sonia (31:51)
Like, get us a little activity going. Like, there's so many things. I love it. Like, candle making, fragrances, lipsticks. you can decorate cakes. I know, me too. No, girl, nobody making I'm gonna have it at my house. Nobody pay a $200 to decorate a cake, especially if I'm doing it. Isn't the point for you to decorate the cake? Why is it $200?

Roberta (31:53)
Yes. So many things. Yes, I saw that. I kind of want to do one. Except the tickets was $200. Like, girl.

Hahahaha

Right. Right.

Sonia (32:18)
Does it come with brunch? No, I'm just kidding. I'm kidding.

Roberta (32:19)
Yeah, so I

would love like it or I can do outdoor activities I'm part of a couple of meetup groups that go out for hiking trips or bouldering I haven't joined a bouldering meetup like rock climbing indoor rock climbing

Sonia (32:24)
Yes.

What the heck is bouldering?

No. Okay.

Roberta (32:37)
It an activity! Yes. Alright, Fair enough.

Sonia (32:38)
I'm down for a hike. I'm not pulling myself up a wall. No. And there's

no one for the boulders. Why do they call it bouldering? Why don't they call it rock climbing?

Roberta (32:46)
Well, because they're, I mean, first of all, they're fake and they're shaped like big boulders, I don't know.

Sonia (32:50)
like on American Ninja Warrior where you gotta like pull yourself up and you hang in by one hand? No, I'm too bottom heavy for that. I can't do it. My arms are too skinny, my bottom's too heavy. I cannot, no. But I'm with you with hiking.

Roberta (32:53)
Yeah, yeah, yeah, like that.

But yeah, like outdoor stuff I can do or again, I'm all into good food and wine, which side note, okay. yeah, wineries are good. This is the thing, I was talking to a friend, I don't know, we were at dinner the other night and I was like, men? So we were talking about in the context of like going out with your girls or like girlfriends or whatever. I was talking to some other women and we all agreed, like just unanimously like off the jump. and they're all grown women.

Sonia (33:11)
wineries. Wineries is a good...

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Roberta (33:31)
men highly do not understand how much women value good a good meal and good beverages whether it's wine cocktails mocktail, whatever it is your thing but men could earn so many points by providing deciding where to go for a restaurant right because the big part is the cognitive load and figuring out where do we go and what do we eat and

Sonia (33:42)
Yeah.

Yes.

Roberta (33:55)
If you pick a good restaurant that has really good food and it has good wine and we don't have to worry about either paying for it or deciding where to go, how to get there, y'all are golden. Men are golden.

Sonia (34:03)
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Yeah. Now the whole thing

is though, Roberta, I know you and your food taste. If I were a man, I would not wanna pick your restaurants. I'd be like, my gosh, you get on my nerves. ⁓

Roberta (34:15)
Okay, okay,

2004 me, from where, from whist I came yes. But now I have a full range. I can go to a dive bar and have whatever food truck, whatever. It really is, and this is where I think it's getting in the grown-ish, territory, is really about the cognitive load. I don't wanna have to think about it.

Sonia (34:21)
Mm-hmm

Okay. ⁓

Mm-hmm.

True, yeah.

Roberta (34:37)
decide I don't want to have to figure out like anything just like if you say let's go to this food truck and hang out and have some beers yes I'm there

Sonia (34:43)
Yes. I'm there. That is,

it's an easy, I mean, it's an easy win. It's an easy win. Especially if the conversation to match is there. You can have a good time with this person and you have good food. Look, I'm all for a good old restaurant, child. I love it. ⁓ Okay, concerts. Now, are you a big concert goer?

Roberta (34:53)
Well, right. Yes.

Yes, yes, yes.

I am not as of late, the pandemic really put a dent in in my going not necessarily because of interest, but more so because I'm just out of the loop of who what bands and what entertainers are coming where. So as I've gotten more into the loop of that, I'm at more concerts.

Sonia (35:17)
Yeah.

Mm-hmm

Roberta (35:24)
Actually, I rely a lot on my friends, Austin and her husband, Azuka, because they are like music fanatics and they know every concert is coming in and out of DC or just the whole East Coast. And so, yes, I'm absolutely here for all concerts, live music.

Sonia (35:33)
Right.

I love concerts, I

don't go enough. but concerts are expensive. Gone are the days when they cost $100, $80, gone are those days. So now what I do is wait till the day of the concert and then I'm on those sites looking for last minute tickets.

Roberta (35:42)
Yes! Like what is going on?

I feel like those are

Sonia (35:56)
No,

she, day of, no not day of, two hours before, an hour before. That's when you get the best tickets. That's how I saw Missy. That's how I saw, took my husband to see Lionel Richie and Earth, Wind and Fire. I paid $30 for those tickets. No, Beyonce is an investment, okay? And I know I said I regretted my decision. I only regretted it because I feel like I paid more because I'm going to Houston to see her.

Roberta (36:01)
Okay ⁓

Hmm, but I feel like you're not gonna see Beyonce like that. Yeah.

Sonia (36:24)
and I feel like they price those tickets differently than, you know. So I will invest. If I really like you, I will invest. I feel like I like Beyonce. I'm excited to see her. It is a thing with me and my sisters. And while there's a tinge of regret for how much I paid, I know I'm gonna have a ball, right? I know I'm gonna have a good time. Bruno Mars, I ain't care. My friend was like, man, what's the most you'll pay for tickets? And I was like, yes.

Roberta (36:36)
Right.

Yeah.

Ooh.

Sonia (36:49)
Because I wanted to see him so bad and I did and it was amazing. ⁓ But the thing that stops me from going to as many concerts as what I would like is if they have seating or not. It's really bad. I've wanted to see Lil Wayne when he was here. I wanted to see Jasmine Sullivan. I wanted to see Duran Bernarr He's going on tour.

Roberta (36:53)
Smooth.

Mmmmm

Love him!

I love his tiny desk. Really?

Sonia (37:15)
Girl, stand in room only. said,

y'all let me know. Let me know how that go. I can't do it. I need a seat. And so I have not convinced myself to buy ticket to standing room only events, even though I want to see these concerts. So.

Roberta (37:27)
Interesting. So, okay,

So, I will go to a concert, and I will go standing room only, I will get there early because I wanna get fairly close to the stage, so that means you're not standing for an hour, two hours, standing for like three or four hours. Well.

Sonia (37:35)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah, and then you can't pee. You can't move. Can't go get drinks.

Roberta (37:46)
if you're going by yourself, but if you go with someone else, right, they'll kind of hold, they'll block out your space for you. I've been, my friends will do that, I will hold it down, you go to the pee.

Sonia (37:47)
If you're going with somebody else. But who doing all that? I'm not, I gotta go for the... ⁓ no, no, no. I don't mean that part. I mean getting there three hours early.

outside. I will do that for like if we're going to, you know, yeah, Wolf Trap, Merriweather whatever, if the concert's outside and we can sit on the ground, sure. Okay, fine. I'm going to plop myself down and sit down. You can't do that at a, at these little smaller venues. can't do, I'm like, first of all, little Wayne, why are you performing at a place with standing room only? Like what the heck? Get some seats. Anyway, I'm sorry.

Roberta (38:03)
Like Wolf Trap

Yeah. Yeah. Film more.

So,

Sonia (38:26)
And also, let's be clear. Let's be clear. I want the option of sitting. I can stand with the best of them, okay, for hours. I don't want to. I want to be able to sit when I want to.

Roberta (38:32)
Yeah.

No, that's fair. There's some concerts that I've gone

to. I just want the option. if it's a band or entertainer that's more dance music, then I'm more apt to go somewhere that's standing room only. When I went to see Khruangbin or however you say the name, I got seats because it's just a vibey. They just have vibey music and it's not like you're gonna be up dancing. You're just gonna chill out and yeah.

Sonia (38:43)
Yes.

Yes, exactly. When I Beyonce, Beyonce saying balance.

I don't like ballad Beyonce, okay? So I sat down, okay? I just, I need to sit. Lionel Richie, everybody sat. I'm like, if it's, so.

Roberta (39:02)
Yeah, no, I think... That's sitting music.

Sonia (39:07)
I think it's the age. But

what I'm trying to say is, I want the option of sitting. I don't actually sit a lot at concerts, especially if it's up beat, right? If it's, know, stuff you want to dance to or whatever, so.

Roberta (39:14)
Yeah.

Yeah.

So okay, so for this one I do think there's conditions. So it's just like, am I too grown for concerts? No, but I'm gonna need there to be some certain considerations there. I'm gonna need some options. Okay.

Sonia (39:28)
No, never!

Yes, absolutely. Yeah,

my only non-negotiable is chairs.

Roberta (39:38)
You have to,

can we have places that are BYOC? Can I bring my own chair? Can I just have my little stool? That's the, yeah, okay. All right, so let's switch up. Let's go from concerts to TV. Go outside to inside. All right, so what old TV show do you still watch regularly?

Sonia (39:42)
If I bring my own chair, that's a chair. Great.

Okay, going from out to in, we staying in. All right.

my absolute favorite show that I have on repeat. And I get so mad when they switch streaming platforms. A Different World is like my go-to, okay? It is my go-to. I can watch it from almost start to finish. And I say almost start because we don't count season one. Season one was a wreck. You have to start with season two.

Roberta (40:11)
Okay.

Wait, yeah,

they were kind of figuring it out in season one. It was still a spin-off in season one. Yeah.

Sonia (40:22)
Yeah, it was, it was not HBCU. ugh, no.

Season one, season two, all the way to the end. The end got a little, but I still watch it. I love it. And if I'm, if I just need a piece, I started season three, four, right? Three, four, season four, when Dwayne and Whitley are not together, but, you know, they're, they're, they're heading that direction. I... Yes.

Roberta (40:33)
That's so interesting.

Mm-hmm.

When he was with, what's her name? Kimono, Kyoko, what's her name?

Whitley called her something different every episode. Wait, so where is it streaming? Because that's one I haven't seen in years. I haven't tapped that.

Sonia (40:51)
Wait, how am I watching? Right, Kimi Koko, yes. So that is my, so it was on Max now I

think it's back on Netflix, which sucks because I don't have Netflix, officially.

Roberta (41:07)
it up. You don't have Netflix?

Sonia (41:09)
but different world is my show. Okay. I love it. I could watch it anytime.

Roberta (41:11)
Yeah. So this

is difference I think, I don't know why, well, I think of difference between you going to an HBCU and me going to a PWI because my all-time favorite show that I literally watched every night is Golden Girls.

Sonia (41:28)
How many seasons of Golden Girls are there?

Roberta (41:31)
There's six seasons. Six, yeah. I've watched the whole series over at least, at least from the very beginning a dozen times. To the point where I was like, you know what, I'm gonna start, because they, it's really good writing and they were so ahead of their time that I actually had the idea, I was like, I'm gonna build a spreadsheet.

Sonia (41:33)
that little six, okay.

my god. A dozen.

Mm-hmm.

Roberta (41:57)
of all the themes, yes, a spreadsheet, of all the themes that they talk about in their episodes because they're so incredibly timely to now. Very good writing. And also, it's partly timely and really good writing, but also it's very nostalgic for me because so when I was younger, every summer I would spend with my grandmother and so she had like a one bedroom and so.

Sonia (41:57)
Not a spreadsheet.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah

Mm-hmm.

Roberta (42:23)
My older cousin would stay in the bedroom, but then me and my grandma would stay on the pullout sofa together, and every night we would watch Golden Girls. And we would watch that, and we would watch Marblehead Manor, which you probably haven't even heard of, We would watch, you remember Mr. Belvedere?

Sonia (42:28)
Mm-hmm.

Awwww.

I don't know what that is. Never.

Of course. Yes. Mr. Belvedere, watch that.

Roberta (42:41)
We watch that and

then we would also watch so we shouldn't have cable, right? So we had the the regular network where you'd like them you would turn dial in the thing, right? And so we have PBS and so we watched this old school like from the 70s PBS comedy called. Are you being served? Right?

Sonia (42:48)
Change of channels? Yeah.

Never heard of it.

Roberta (43:00)
So all those shows I try to find where I can streaming or somewhere on YouTube because they're so incredibly nostalgic to me it just reminds me cuz I'm my grandma's a night owl we just stay up till 11 and I was I don't know maybe 8 10 12 somewhere in there and we would just stay up late watching these shows and I think I got my developed my humor from her and watching these different sitcoms and shows and such I

Sonia (43:14)
Mm-hmm.

You are an old soul no I'm just kidding.

Roberta (43:27)
That's from me being 10 years old hanging out with a 60-some year old woman.

Sonia (43:33)
Yeah, I think

everybody has that show. For my sister, it's, what does she watch? Living Single, Martin, those are her favorites. And so for my younger sister, she acts like she doesn't get the whole like, I watch nostalgic TV. But yeah, I think everybody just has a show. We have a friend of our family. Every night when she goes to bed, she has to watch Martin to this day. Like Martin has to be on.

Roberta (43:57)
Mmm,

Sonia (43:58)
And that is her show. Yeah.

Roberta (43:59)
I Get it. It's just like it's literally a comfort like a blanket like I like a safety blanket You just feel like even hearing the theme song to Golden Girls Just relaxes me

Sonia (44:10)
Do you like the remix or you were just like, no, that's too much.

Roberta (44:13)
The one where the guy's singing with the, yeah, I think it's cute,

but give me the original. if I could figure out, I'm not figuring out, I'm sure I can just easily do it, but make it a ringtone? make their theme song? I would totally do that. Yeah, no.

Sonia (44:23)
sure. You should, you should. All

right, so when we were preparing for this, one of the things that I looked up is what black women typically watch. So we're two black women. So I'm gonna see if we watch these, if we fall into these categories. So they said black women, like over index on reality TV.

Roberta (44:33)
Hmm. My 37%. Right, okay.

Okay. Ugh.

Sonia (44:46)
Things like basketball wives, married to medicine. What is that? I don't watch this, but it's like married after six months or married at first sight. Yeah, all of that. 90 Day Fiance. My mom is all over 90 Day Fiance. Lifetime movies and the ID channel. murder, death, kill. It's about...

Roberta (44:57)
Married at first sight? Yeah, 90 day fiance? Yeah, I don't watch any of those.

Hmm.

I don't even know what that is. ⁓ okay, all right. So it's

like that one show I used to watch. ⁓

Sonia (45:16)
Who killed, who killed Bobby Jane?

And then they reenacted with actors. That kind of stuff.

Roberta (45:22)
There was one that I did

kind of watch, what is it called? I can't remember. It was the one, it was like, it was always women that committed a crime and they were talking about it. It starts with an S.

Sonia (45:35)
Women?

Roberta (45:36)
Yes, it was always a woman who committed a crime. It was on OWN or something. that's the only kind of like shows that I watched. It was like real, was like reality TV and women who created crimes or committed crimes. No.

Sonia (45:45)
Do you watch any of those reality TV,

Lifetime movies, ID channel?

Roberta (45:51)
I

got enough reality in my daily life. don't need to see other people's... No.

Sonia (45:56)
Your life like that is ratchet. So I

used to be all over, I loved Basketball Wives. The era where Tammy Roman was on there, Shawnee was, well, I don't know if she's still on there or not. These new Basketball Wives I don't really know like that. But I watched Real Housewives of Atlanta. It used be my show.

But now I can't do it. I feel like it's all fake. I feel like when it first came out, it was more, it was better, was more real. I mean, even if it wasn't, it seemed more real. Now I just feel like it's completely fake. And I don't really want to watch people solve crimes. Or reenact them. I don't. Although I have a friend who works at the ID, she's a producer on the ID channel. I'm like, I can't do it. I'm sorry. In DC?

Roberta (46:17)
Yeah, it's not, yeah.

No, seriously.

really? Where are they based?

I did not know that. Okay wait, so I found the show. Snapped.

Sonia (46:45)
Silver Spring. ⁓

yeah.

Roberta (46:51)
I used to joke, I was like, yeah, you gonna find me on the episode of Snap when somebody get on my nerves. Yeah.

Sonia (46:57)
That's exactly right. Women like that, like those

kinds of shows. So anyway.

Roberta (47:01)
Okay, so that's

TV what about Music slang social media like all the trendy stuff. is there things that we're just too grown for?

Sonia (47:13)
Sure, I'm grown for new hip hop music. just feel like I've aged out. I don't know what you're saying. I feel really auntie because I'm like, dang, it's so ratchet. It's just so vulgar. I can't do it. I just be like, y'all, it's so vulgar. I mean, then you have Lil' Kim.

And I was like, I don't know why, it's just not the same though. I don't know. So when it comes to music, I am more stick to my playlist. I love a good playlist. I can put it in the genre that I love, which is 90s R &B. I love the R &B. It's like 80s, 90s to early 2000s R &B. I

Roberta (47:34)
What the?

That's interesting.

Yeah, yeah.

Sonia (47:56)
It's my favorite. You come in my office at work, that's what we listening to. I don't just have ways to be introduced to new music because I don't feel like Apple Music is a great platform for introducing you to new music. It's awful.

Roberta (48:04)
Mmm.

It's not, none of them are.

Spotify's not good for that.

Sonia (48:13)
So it's like, where do I, if I'm not listening to music, then I'm listening to podcast. And so I'm just not, I don't listen to the radio. I do have Sirius XM in my car, but I listen to old school stations. So I'm just not in the space to listen to new music. But the interesting part about it is I think I find new music or new artists if they go on tiny desk. It's kind of.

Roberta (48:18)
Yeah.

Yeah, I I don't listen to that.

Hmm that's interesting

because I feel like a lot of tiny desks lately in the last year have been like old or Artists that are like trying to come back. It used to be Yeah

Sonia (48:46)
Yeah, but that's how I found Durand Banarr I didn't know who he was

until I saw his tiny desk and now I like watch it all the time. Like, so that's like my thing. But no, what about you? You seem to have, you have a very eclectic music taste.

Roberta (48:54)
Yeah.

Yeah,

I get a lot of my... listen to a little bit of everything. I think I listen to the new hip-hop artists, new female artists. For whatever reason, some of the male artists don't really resonate with me. But I love me... Yes, I love me some Glorilla Meg this... Yes, Meg this style, know, though she hasn't really put out new stuff a lot lately.

Sonia (49:09)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah. Like who? Like Glorilla Aunties loves Glorilla. Yes.

Yeah, Meg

is good, yeah. Yes.

Roberta (49:24)
Doechii but I've been loving her.

Doechii been around for a minute. Everybody's been sleepin on Doechii. I'm glad she's finally getting the appreciation that she deserves because she has really been, she is, she is hot. Like she is,

Sonia (49:30)
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. She's just so freaking cute. I love her. Yeah.

Remember when we used to have a body like that, dang, remember when you was young?

Roberta (49:42)
28, 27, 28 was my sweet spot. Yeah, Exactly, yes. Keep on doing that until you can't anymore. Yes, I like new music because I like seeing the creativity and what people are doing and how they're weaving, I'm gonna say their culture, but their perception of culture and the times we're in into their arts. I just like seeing it. So I'm open to it even if it's not something that I'm

Sonia (49:43)
Like girl, you doing exactly what you should be doing with that body, okay? Wearing your drawers outside. That's exactly what you should do when you look like that.

you

Mm-hmm.

Roberta (50:09)
judge is like good or bad, just like it regardless because it's what people are experiencing. So I balanced that with like I have a lot of playlists that I like of like old music. I really like the blog era of hip hop. So that was early 2010s to 2015. So like Odd Future, Tyler the Creator when he first started doing music like Earl Sweatshirt, know ASAP, whole that whole ASAP Mob when they were like

Sonia (50:12)
Mm-hmm.

What is the blog era? I just feel like you lost me. What does that mean? okay. ⁓

Roberta (50:36)
fairly new, ⁓ Casey Veggies. I just dug into like, gone into some of my past music and dug us in some KC Veggies. So that kind of stuff was, but that was like, yeah, 2010s-ish. But it was for the music itself, but also because it was nostalgic, because I really was having a really good time in life during that time, and that was the soundtrack for my life. So I kind of dig back into that.

Sonia (50:37)
Mm-hmm.

I don't know them, I'm sorry.

Mm-hmm.

Right, Yeah, that period is interesting

because I feel like that's where I fell off. Like I had Hunter in 2010, Sienna 2012. I wasn't really out, I wasn't really, I feel like that's where I fell into Auntieville. So, and so if we don't listen to new music, like how are we picking up new slang? Like where do we get it from?

Roberta (51:11)
Yeah.

Well, yeah, don't...

I see some of it. So the funny thing is I see it. This is so bad. I see it on social media, but not from directly from the people, but from the parents of the people who are using the slang. So like all the Gen Z stuff sounds ridiculous to me.

Sonia (51:31)
What's it? ⁓

I don't even know what it, I don't know, like.

Roberta (51:39)
like the Riz and the thing and the Ohio and all that, which I feel like that's even old by now. It just, but also, but you don't hear your kids saying this stuff.

Sonia (51:43)
What's Ohio? Okay, forget it. I'm only interested because I'm from Ohio.

No, they say things that I get. ⁓ So when I check their phones, when I check...

Roberta (51:55)
Interesting.

Sonia (52:03)
We do have the anime. Hunter is sharing. my daughter is a complete blerd Are you kidding? ⁓ Not Hunter so much. He talks about TikToks, videos, girls. And so we do have to like go to the Googler. And they talk in all caps. Like, what's that game where you have to, where they give you the first letter of each word and you have to guess what the phrase is?

Roberta (52:03)
What are they even talking about?

Mmm. Aw, you have some blerds

Aw.

Sonia (52:31)
That's how they type. And so we in Google like.

Roberta (52:32)
Like, wordle?

No. I don't know. So wait, are they actually, are they talking in code so that you guys don't know what they're saying?

Sonia (52:36)
I'm trying to, so no.

They don't know I checked. But, I mean they probably suspect by now. But, and he can probably hear me. So, but no, they don't. Because that's how we found out my daughter curses, okay? Because I was like, that's how we found out my son was cursing in a video. I was like, wow, you just discovered it? It's just every other word. And he doesn't anymore. But, it's crazy.

Roberta (52:49)
Right.

Sonia (53:07)
But no, they don't speak it in front of, they don't really speak it in front of me a lot. And if I do, I just learn it enough to understand what the hell they saying, so I'm not really trying to use it.

Roberta (53:17)
Yeah, yeah. But like who,

what would I look like using the same vernacular that a 15 year old is using? Like what am I even doing? I would look like a pedophile.

Sonia (53:23)
You

Roberta (53:29)
Too grown, like, cause who am I trying to relate to? Right, like who, what am I trying to, who I trying to relate to? Yeah, no, too grown, I'm too grown.

Sonia (53:29)
Are you grooming this person? No, I do not. I've given up on slang, okay? I am

too grown for slang. I'm sticking with what I know. If some from the 90s pop out, child, is that slang? Because I say that a lot.

Roberta (53:50)
I'm look

this is what I'm here for and only because it would entertain and amuse me. Let's bring back slang from the 70s. Like I'm gonna ask you to do me a solid. Yes, like let's like you jive turkey like yes let's bring that back.

Sonia (53:57)
my God, that's so you. Now you just talked about your grandma and this is, that's that coming out of you.

Yes, that's you.

So clean, so wholesome. You know what it means, okay? You know, I mean don't know what a jive turkey is, but I know, yes. Exactly, I said, wait a minute, I said that to somebody in my office. They said, what? Did I drop something? I said, get out. Get out! That just happened last week.

Roberta (54:11)
You can get your point right on across.

You know, look, you're picking up what I'm putting down.

Sonia (54:32)
All right, so you, social media, social media, where are we?

Roberta (54:36)
Social media, I'm

holding on to Instagram. I feel like Instagram may be on its way out, but I'm still there. I know TikTok is a thing. I feel like I am on TikTok a little bit, but I use it more as like a reference.

Sonia (54:50)
I know people love TikTok. My sister loves TikTok.

Roberta (54:54)
Emanuel loves

Tik Tok. He's the only person I know who is like a solid 40 something and it's just like no

Sonia (54:59)
No, my sister's

50. She's on there. She loves it. She's always like, you need to do stuff on TikTok. No, I don't want to. I don't want to.

Roberta (55:08)
feel like does

stuff does pick up faster and easier on TikTok.

Sonia (55:11)
yeah.

I, yeah, so I'm not on TikTok. Instagram, know it's on its way out because I see more stuff I don't follow than do. I still have a Facebook. It's mostly for family, but I don't even see family anymore. I just see people I don't know. I really only keep Facebook because I feel like it's obligatory so I can see my cousins and my aunties.

Roberta (55:21)
Hmm.

Exactly. Yeah.

Exactly. It's

yeah, exactly. Yep.

Sonia (55:34)
My actual aunties, not

aunties. And I like threads, so threads is becoming, I like it, I like it so far.

Roberta (55:38)
Mmm.

I don't...

Sonia (55:43)
Were you ever on Twitter?

Roberta (55:45)
No, I was never I mean I have an account I have a twitter account but I got on in maybe 2009 but I don't use it I never really use it

Sonia (55:49)
Me

Me either. was

too much. I was like, can't, I can't, I can't. yo, I was never Twitter. Well now you can just put whatever. I can't get on it now because it's X. I'm not too grown for Instagram, clearly. And YouTube. I've become a YouTuber. Like, it's like podcast, YouTube. Like, for me.

Roberta (55:58)
I'm too long-winded for Twitter.

Mmm.

Yeah,

Sonia (56:20)
I watch, I love

Roberta (56:20)
YouTube kind of skipped over me. I don't know. I'm not a YouTuber.

Sonia (56:23)
makeup tutorial. Like, first of all, anything you want to know, you just go on. I mean, some people use TikTok like that.

Roberta (56:27)
No, use it similar.

Like yeah, use YouTube, like I use TikTok, which is to look up stuff. It's like at my Google. Yeah.

Sonia (56:33)
Yeah, for sure, for sure.

listen and I watch Don Lemon on there. Like he has a little show. ⁓ So I really like YouTube more and more. But everything else, I mean, honestly, I just feel like I need to take a break from it. I feel like I don't need any more of it in my life.

Roberta (56:49)
I don't need

anymore. I mean, Clubhouse, I was on there for literally two seconds. What was the other one? Blue, something, Blue Sky? No. Jetty, there was one Jetty, I think.

Sonia (56:53)
Two seconds, me too. Blue sky, ugh, I can't. I don't wanna learn anything new.

what's Snapchat? That's still for the kids.

Roberta (57:04)
I

don't think people are using that anymore. don't, I never really... They bringing it back?

Sonia (57:06)
Kids do. Kids do. They exchange Snapchats

like handles. No, I look, I need to be taking a break. Substack? Now that's interesting, cause it's articles. I don't...

Roberta (57:17)
Is it really a social media? It kind of reminds

me of Tumblr.

Sonia (57:21)
Maybe, but Tumblr was pictures.

Roberta (57:23)
Yeah, but also people use it as like a blog.

Sonia (57:26)
Oh, I didn't know. Okay. I haven't gotten into SubSback, but people, I hear nice things over there. I hear it's for the intellectuals. Okay, okay. Now, Roberta, I don't know why you put this on here. Are we talking about dating? Because I ain't got none to add. I'm too grown for dating.

Roberta (57:32)
Yeah. Yes.

We can talk about it, okay, like yes, because like when we,

in the context of, yeah, you are very, very much too grown for dating, you better not be out here in these dating streets now, because for the most part, I'm like single, I'm unmarried, I've been...

Sonia (57:56)
Wait, so you're one of those people, so you're obviously dating someone. So do you consider yourself single until you're married? Like, would it, because you're like, I'm obviously single. I'm like, you're obviously not single.

Roberta (57:59)
Yes. ⁓

No

⁓ Fair question,

fair question. I consider myself single if I'm completely like not dating exclusively. So I'm dating someone exclusively so I'm not dating out in the world. Am I married? in all these past years of me dating, whether exclusive or not, technically yes, I'm single. By government, I'm single because I'm not married.

Sonia (58:31)
That's a long-winded way. You single or nah? Okay, dang. The government? I still file my taxes as single. ⁓

Roberta (58:34)
Don't let that sink in.

Because I do have a this is conversations

I have with people and like actually people that End up dating is like what do you consider like single versus like what is your view on marriage? It's very interesting like conversations in the last ten years with people As far as their views on marriage is way different than I feel like when I first got married or when you got married But that's a other episode

Sonia (58:49)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah, yeah,

because some people will say, I'm single until I'm married. Even if I'm dating, I'm still single. I'm like, wow, OK. I mean, how the person you're not dating feel about that?

Roberta (59:04)
Yeah.

If I'm exclusive with someone then I'm not single like that's just Yeah

Sonia (59:14)
Okay. Well, this is what I want to know. Are

dating apps still in? Are people still swiping left, right, and center? Whatever.

Roberta (59:22)
People,

yes. Me, no. I have not been on any type of online dating anything since like 2019. I'm pretty sure I will never get back on any kind of dating app again. I've been on, so let's put this into context. I've been, I first started using dating apps in 2010, 2011?

I ⁓

Sonia (59:49)
Is Match still around? It's probably stanky in there. Yeah. E-Harmony was for old people. Young people didn't go to E-Harmony.

Roberta (1:00:11)
bounce back from all the serious ones. Like it started I feel like as serious ones. It was literally like personalized.

Sonia (1:00:13)
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. So if Tinder now,

Tinder used to be like for sex, right? Like if you wanted to hook up.

Roberta (1:00:22)
Not the beginning. In the beginning

it was a genuine dating, meet someone, potentially relationship or whatever. And then by towards the end of it, don't even know if it's still a thing, but towards the end of it, was a hookup.

Sonia (1:00:28)
Mm-hmm.

I feel like it was, I thought it was the opposite. Like it happened the absolute,

Roberta (1:00:37)
No, people were actually, and

for a while I knew, I still know couples who got married from meeting on Tinder.

Sonia (1:00:42)
Mm-hmm.

What about Grindr? Now that's, is that for, is that for the, ⁓ okay. She's like, I don't know nothing about it.

Roberta (1:00:47)
That's for gay men. Maybe it's

still being used. I have no idea. I don't know. just I'm too grown for it in the sense that I'm just over the shenanigans. It's very much like online shopping and people don't really if you're on an app, you just so quick to dismiss someone. And also is so easy to hide your true self.

Sonia (1:01:02)
Oof.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Roberta (1:01:15)
I just don't, I just have no desire to do that.

Sonia (1:01:18)
So I get that. I mean, some people feel that way. They just want to meet somebody out in the wild. You just prefer to meet.

Roberta (1:01:24)
even say out in the

wild if I meet someone like the person I'm with now I met through my business partner so I need to know they need to come verified you need to have a blue check

Sonia (1:01:31)
So you have to be introduced. Okay. Now that's hard though.

I mean, I get, so you don't want to be the strange, like a stranger stranger. Like you need to have an, you need to be an acquaintance of somebody. You need to come with a referral. Yeah.

Roberta (1:01:45)
There was, it's not a requirement. It's not a requirement.

So I have been out in the last year just being, so last year I was more social and just out having fun and not even looking to date, just being outside. And so I met people, men that way, didn't know them. They didn't come from, it's not a friend of a friend or anything. I just met because we were in the same place at the same time. I wouldn't do that, you know?

Sonia (1:01:57)
Mm-hmm.

Right.

Right, right.

Yeah, that's out in the wild.

Roberta (1:02:11)
sounds.

Sonia (1:02:12)
What the hell you

think I meant?

I just meant Out and About, out and about.

Roberta (1:02:17)
Yeah, yeah,

potentially I would do that. ⁓ But I need to have some sort of initial interaction, like human interaction with someone to make sure that they're not completely crazy or a sociopath or something. Because I just don't have them too grown for that.

Sonia (1:02:20)
Okay.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I'm not too grown for dating. A dating is still a requirement in my marriage, okay? I need to get on him sometimes.

Roberta (1:02:39)
Okay, so this

is this is something I you talk about defining like single versus married I don't If you're with someone especially if you're married, I don't think that's not dating it needs to be called something else

Sonia (1:02:43)
Yeah.

Why are you trying to take ownership over the word dating? Why can't it be dating? Yes. Yes, exactly. You need that in a marriage. No, you don't. You think I'm gonna say, I'm not even the same person I was yesterday. You need to check in. Like, no. And I...

Roberta (1:02:56)
because dating is getting to know someone.

But I feel like if you're married, you already know this person.

But I think there needs to be a different

name for that because that's different from...

Sonia (1:03:15)
It's connecting,

but nobody wants to say you want to go on a connection. Like, no, it's connecting. I think dating, to me, I feel like it's so important and I have to remind my husband of this because you get lulled into a comfort.

Roberta (1:03:19)
You

Sonia (1:03:33)
You think you know me. Look, people, not, was going to say women, but people change. Life changes you every day. Growing older changes you. You need to check in and you need to do that in fun, interesting ways. Like, right? You need to get to know who I am. And sometimes that's not always on a date because you also need to talk to me when I'm at home too. Right? We need to, you need to look me in the eye and talk.

Roberta (1:03:37)
Yeah.

Yes.

Exactly, so that's why

I feel like it needs to have a different name than dating because it's just a different context

Sonia (1:04:04)
No, because

I think going out and being out on the town and letting what you're doing, the activity kind of drive the conversation and like that's like a, like that's what's driving the conversation to me.

Roberta (1:04:11)
Yeah.

Yeah.

Sonia (1:04:19)
It is important for me to look you in the eye, for you to ask me how my day was, ask me how I'm doing. To me, I call that connecting. I need to, if I feel like I haven't connected with you, meaning we haven't, you know, like, cuddled, looked in each other's eyes, I need that. That's different than dating, to me. So no, we keepin' dating. We keepin' it.

Roberta (1:04:38)
That is,

no, let's call it, that's mating.

Sonia (1:04:44)
The hell, mating is having sex.

Roberta (1:04:45)
Can we brand a different, I mean, it just needs a

rebrand because like that what you're talking about is very important, it is very needed in a marriage or any kind of long-term relationship, but it's not dating.

Sonia (1:04:54)
It doesn't need a rebrand. I disagree. I disagree.

Roberta (1:04:57)
What y'all think? I don't know.

We need some opinions, some comments here because I think dating is for people that don't know each other or just getting to know each other. think if you're already married or if you're already in a long-term relationship, that's something else. It's important, but it's something else. I don't know.

Sonia (1:05:10)
Yeah, well, look,

I feel like that's exactly what you're still doing. You're still getting to know who you're married to. Go ahead and drink. Sorry.

Roberta (1:05:24)
I'm out of wine. Revert it to water. Well, you know what time it is for that, right? Right, exactly. All right. All right, so this week, one thing related to the topic is...

Sonia (1:05:25)
That's okay. Well then that's all the more reason for us to wrap it up Alright, so what's your CTA?

Roberta (1:05:40)
to go enjoy doing something you love that's no longer trendy or that you think you're too grown for. Like whatever that thing is that you're like, I really like this thing, but I'm too grown for that. I'm too old for that. I'm too whatever, whatever, whatever. No, you're not. Go do the thing and then tell us what you did.

Sonia (1:05:43)
Mm-hmm.

Right.

Yeah.

Yeah, go verify. Go verify if you are. Because you might go do the thing and you'll be like, yep, mm-hmm, too grown for that.

Roberta (1:06:05)
Mm-hmm, yep, too confirmed.

I am too old for that.

Sonia (1:06:09)
Go

verify if you too grown for it. Go test it out.

Roberta (1:06:11)
Or come back

and say, you know what? I'm right in my prime to do this thing. Yes.

Sonia (1:06:16)
Exactly right,

exactly right. You need to go out. I'm gonna steal yours, okay? We have one CTA today and we're in there together because I like it. All right.

Roberta (1:06:21)
next.

Yes.

Sonia (1:06:27)
Thank you everybody for joining us for another episode. That was fun. I hope you guys find our conversation fun. If you did, make sure you share this episode, please. Share it with your friends. See if they agree or disagree. Leave us a like. Follow us anywhere you find podcasts. Thank you guys for joining us and we'll see you next time.

Roberta (1:06:36)
Yes.

All right, bye.