Sonia (00:01.856)
Welcome back to another episode of the Grown and Growing Podcast. Man, it has been six months since I uttered those words. I'm back guys, after a six month hiatus. Look, when I signed out at the end of June, I had every intention in coming back to the podcast in September. I had no intentions of taking what would be a six month break.
But at the end of the day, that is exactly what I needed. At that point, I had been producing the podcast for two and a half years and I was really proud of the 60 plus original episodes that I had produced. I had met and talked to amazing guests. I learned so much about so many topics, but mostly I learned a lot about myself. It was amazing two and a half years.
But the truth of the matter was I was physically and mentally exhausted. I had never taken a substantial break in the two and a half years that I was recording the podcast and I was desperate for it. but there was a part of me that was afraid that if I took a break that I wouldn't come back.
because I was just, I would enjoy the break too much. I knew the amount of discipline it takes to record and produce and put out a podcast every other week. And I was afraid that I would get too comfortable and I wouldn't come back.
And so that was part of the reason I was driven for so long to do it for two and a half years without a break, because I was like, if I stop, I may not come back. But ultimately the exhaustion, one out and I just needed a break. I was tired and I needed a break. But if I'm honest with myself, I was also conflicted about the direction the podcast had taken. I love the podcast, right? I love.
Sonia (02:10.49)
love what I've produced. But I had always envisioned the Grown and Growing podcast to be a platform where women who were in their 40s and beyond, or maybe a little bit younger, could come and see themselves. That it was a space where you felt like, I am not alone in trying to figure out how to navigate midlife.
And, you know, I wanted people to know, women to know in particular, that they were not alone, that what they were experiencing was being experienced by many other women. And I just wanted to create a space where women, and particularly Black women, felt seen and inspired and created a space where they could learn something about themselves.
The goal was to have a mix of solo episodes and also interview a number of guests. But as time went on, the solo episodes became fewer and I began to do more interviews with, particularly with subject matter experts. Now.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking to my guests. And a lot of the guests I had just met by cold calling, right? I had met them, I've seen their content on social media, or I had run into their content in a different space, and I just reached out to them and asked them to come on the podcast to talk about whatever they were experts in. And I had some amazing conversations. And what I could say is, you know, the majority, almost everyone I talked to was so
nice and so kind and so generous with their time. I was just amazed that, you know, people were, were still so kind. It really kind of warmed my heart, right? Cause we hear so much, you know, negativity about how people are so isolated and individuals, listed, but you know, people are also very kind and very willing to, to give of their time.
Sonia (04:18.242)
But, and so I talked to a number of these people about a lot of different things. Again, learned so much. But by the time I got to the end of June, I knew something needed to change. I could feel it within myself that, you know, yes, you're, you're tired. Yes, you need to take a break, but you also needed to, I also needed to rethink the way that I was doing the podcast. I'm all for growth.
Right? I'm all for improving, not staying the same. Look, the name of the podcast is grown and growing. And I chose that for a reason because it is so important to me that I grow into the person that God meant me to be, that I'm, you know, that I'm always, you know, making sure that there is room in my life to.
evolve and become the person that I want to be. But...
In the same breath, I also know the value of just loving yourself, loving yourself without question, loving yourself without in the, in the mind and body and space that you're in now. There is so much value in that and it is so important. and the podcast was really, really heavy on the growing, but light on being grown, right? Just existing in the body that you're
in now. having guests who talk about how to improve various parts of your mental, your spiritual and your physical life is useful, right? I always plan to have it as a part of the, of the podcast. It will never go away, but I began to feel like
Sonia (06:07.934)
I was always needing to work on something. Me, myself, I was feeling like that and talking to all these people. You talk to subject matter experts about, you how to be healthy, how to have joy, how to have a healthy mindset, how to create boundaries. And I came away in June feeling like, dang, there's always something that I need to work on, right? There's always something that I need to change about myself. And it may be true.
We may need to change those things about ourselves. We always need to grow in some way or another. But in the moment, I also felt that I just wanted to be. I just wanted to be and exist. I didn't want to hear another thing about something that I needed to tweak about myself. I wanted to take the time to just be with myself.
be with my flaws. I didn't want to talk to a coach. I just wanted to take the time to exist and I didn't want to hear anything about growing or improving. And, you know, even if it was for the best.
And I think that revealed to me a certain way that I wanted to change the podcast. I looked at it as an opportunity to bring something different to the podcast. I am not perfect. I do not try to be. And there are things about growing through midlife and just being human, right? Just existing in this world that makes it hard, that makes it a struggle. And I never
want to give the
Sonia (07:57.67)
perception that you are not enough and that there's always something about yourself that you needed to change. and so I really wanted to tweak that part of the podcast and look, you may not have felt that way. You may have felt like, you know what? I thought that what you were doing was fine. you didn't need to change, but that's, that's what I came away feeling, right? I want women to yes, be inspired. Yes, to grow. Yes, to.
to move themselves out of situations that are not benefiting their lives. But I also want women to also know that they are worthy, that they are good just the way they are as well. And it's a balance, it's a balance. How do you hold these two things in the palm of your hand and do both? That's what I kind of wanted to attempt. And then,
You know, the other thing that I thought about, you know, while I was on this break is some feedback that I had gotten from my family and friends who are close to me. One of the things that they would say to me is that they wish I could show more of my personality on the show, on the podcast.
And it's not like, you know, they were like, it's, see glimpses of your personality, but we want to see more. And I want to be clear, right? The way that I am on the podcast is, is me. It is a part of me, right? It is not how I am in every situation, but it is a, it is a part of who I am. Maybe that's the way I show up on podcasts or maybe that's the way I show up when I am interviewing people and trying to pull out useful information for people. But it is a part of who I am, but they wanted to see,
more of me. They wanted to see more of who they saw in everyday life. And to be honest, I wanna show that, but I'ma be real. It is very difficult to show parts of yourself when you're in front of a mic and a camera. It's like, well, who is pulling that out of you?
Sonia (10:05.366)
It's a camera. I look, look, I get it. In the age of social media, I should be perfectly comfortable talking in front of a camera, talking in front of this mic and being completely, you know, who I am, but it's an adjustment. didn't go to school for this. This is something that, you know, I felt in my heart to do and I wanted to do. Doesn't make me perfect at it. and so I really wanted to figure out a way that I can bring more of me.
into the podcast, how do I do that? So I took the summer to rest, to think about what I wanted to do with the podcast and just kind of exist. And hopefully the answer would come to me.
The bottom line was when I started this podcast, I didn't intend to have a podcast that was solely focused on interviewing people. didn't want it to be an interview focused podcast. My initial vision was to have a cohost. Um, and we would have these conversations about what we were dealing with in midlife as 40 year olds. That's, know, now we're 40, about to be 47 year olds. Um,
And I had the perfect person in mind. And, you know, at the time when I was concepting the podcast, I did ask this person to join me as a co-host and she turned me down. She said, I was like, okay. I was still, I still felt called to do the podcast. was like, all right, you're not going to do it with me. I'm going to do it alone. And so that's what I did. And for two and a half years, I did it alone.
But over the summer, you know, after some thinking, I decided to shoot my shot again. I decided to circle the block and ask her if she would be on the podcast. And to my surprise, she said, yes. Excuse me. Jeez. so in this season of the grown and growing podcast, we will have, or I will have a cohost.
Sonia (12:20.982)
I'm so excited. I'm kind of nervous, but I'm so excited. My friend of over 20 years is joining me on this platform. Her name is Roberta. Ooh, I almost said her, her married name. Her name is Roberta Hatchet.
Sonia (12:39.864)
pause. Her name is Roberta Hatchet and we met in, when we were in grad school, when we were 24 years old, our lives since then have completely transformed. and we went in totally different directions. She is single though she's currently dating. She doesn't have children.
She's an entrepreneur of a wine and decor business, and she lives this fabulous life in DC. I like to describe her as my, boho, bougie, boho friend. She's bougie and she's also boho. and so while we have so many differences, right? When you look at how we live our lives, where we are in our lives, we would often come together to talk about how to navigate
And in some time, some, in some circumstances come to terms with being black women in our mid forties and really just trying to figure it the fuck out. How do we figure it out? Guys, when I tell you our regular conversations could be podcast episodes, at least that's what I thought.
and so I am so excited to welcome her, to the podcast. My hope is that it will broaden perspectives. Like you will get my perspective as a married woman with two kids, and a husband, in a, in a career, just kind of navigating life. And then her perspective of being single, mid forties, black woman and what she sees and hopes for herself. you know, I know we are not a monolith. There's so many different perspectives.
that we could have on the show. And I just wanted to broaden it a little bit. I still wanna have meaningful conversations. And yes, I still wanna have guests. I wanna have guests, I wanna have subject matter experts on the show to help us and guide us to being our best selves. But I just wanted to broaden it a little and broaden what we talked about and how we talk about it a little bit more.
Sonia (14:46.72)
And so the in the next episode, you will experience here our new co-host. Like I said, I am excited and I am nervous. It is like relaunching the podcast all over again. I have butterflies in my stomach, but you know what? You can't be scared to pivot. Wait, actually, let me switch that.
You can be scared to pivot, but you need to do it anyway. You can't let it stop you. And ultimately, this is a pivot that I felt like I needed to make.
And, you know, ultimately I hope that you will feel and see and experience the love that I have for this platform and, you know, what I really want to convey in this podcast. I also want to thank you for joining me on this journey. It's been wild. It's been great. I love all of the feedback that I get from people when either in my DMs or when they see me or
I wanted to start this season off with a solo episode to explain the changes that are coming up, to explain my absence, and just really kick off the season just saying, yo, this is what's happening. And so this will be my last solo episode for a while, but I'm excited about the conversations we'll have going forward. Thank you all for listening.
And I will see you next time with my new co-host. Thank you for listening.
